tribid (tribid) wrote,


Flash Challenge: Must Love Robots

Speedy quick, have to be speedy quick.  I can do speedy, I can, I can.  The overlord is packing down the assembly line, the click of his boots somehow audible over the whirring and the zzzzips of the pneumatics.  He stalks with his hands clasped behind his back, how could I not think of him as an overlord?

He's stopping to look at what Jimmy has going on, Jimmy is drawing him in with his usual questioning.  I like Jimmy, don't get me wrong.  He's totally nice and smart as a whip but he has that "taught by Jesuits" thing going on, that relentless questioning thing, and it wears me out.  I mean it challenges me sometimes but I'm a public school kid, through and through and I'm just not accustomed to aggressive, active learning.  We were more passive blobs and the knowledge was poured over our heads repetitively until some of it seeped in our ears. 

The Jesuit thing is different and I swear he knows all the fucking answers before he asks the stupid question, he just wants to see how you answer it.  He doesn't even care if you know what the hell you're talking about, he just wants that insight into how your brain works, and I guess I assume he's collecting intel for the great and might take down so it makes me uncomfortable to be inquisitioned like that.  Like I'm on trial for why I decided to tighten the nut by hand before I got the wrench out.  Although, when the overlord is on trial for why he told us to tighten the nut first, well that's a little amusing.

And when the overlord is looking at Jimmy like he's a retard for asking and I know that Jimmy is five thousand times smarter than the overlord, well, that's fucking hilarious.

But now, now it's just handy because Jimmy is slowing him way the hell down while I am being speedy quick.  Jimmy and Ray and I were up late last night brainstorming a few modifications and I get the honor of executing them today.

Ray is also five thousand times smarter than the overlord but he gets nervous with the overlord swooping around and he might give something away when he screeched like a little girl and dropped his wrench every time the overlord looked at him.  He actually did that this morning and he was just tightening a nut like he was supposed to be doing, which made the overlord stalking over and staring at him for ten minutes like he was setting his own pants on fire pretty hilarious too.

Jimmy, obviously, was not elected to implement the plan because of his excellent pedantic bullshit skills.  Quick glance, which are still working.  Way to go Jimmy-boy.  I am speedy quick, and chillingly efficient and skilled and I am almost done with implementing all the excellent little upgrades we talked about late, late, late last night after smoking that really weird shit that Ray got from his friend who works on the night line.

The overlord is leaving Jimmy now, well he's trying to back away but Jimmy is fucking on today and he's pulled another ridiculous question out of his ass.  It's like he's been training for this his whole life, we totally have to do this again.  I give Jimmy a little nod thing so he knows that I'm done and it's okay for the overlord to mosey this way.

Mosey to me he does, and I'm just tightening my nut.  La la la la, just tightening away...

-Two months later-

And in the news tonight, marijuana plants are springing up in corporate lawns around the state.  Investigators are tracing it back to a remote controlled lawn mower plant of all things.
Tags: flash fiction

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